A Friend Indeed

Martyn Payne

Bible links: 1 Samuel 18:1-3; 1 Samuel 20; 1 Samuel 24; 2 Samuel 9

On Your Marks:

General introduction to the theme:

When God made people, one way they were like God was the ability to offer and receive the gift of friendship. However, following the choice to betray that trust in their friendship with God, this gift became easily broken. People often chose to hate others, turning friends into enemies. God never stopped longing for friendship with and between all. Finally, when God stepped into this world as Jesus, everyone could see the forever friendship that God offered. It was a friendship that was greater than the power of revenge, hatred and death and this was made available to anyone when Jesus rose from the dead. Again and again God showed through the stories in the Bible how hatred can be turned into love and enemies can become friends. This is the good news that we as Christians can pass on to a broken world

Introduction to the story:

David, we are told in the New Testament, was a person who was dear to God’s heart (Acts 13:22). David understood about the gift of friendship and tried both to make friends and to be a friend all his life. Of course, he was also very human and made many mistakes but he knew God wanted him to choose to be friends not enemies. Even when King Saul turned against him after the defeat of Goliath, he did not choose hatred. We see his capacity for friendship best in his relationship with Saul’s son, Jonathan, with whom he made a lifelong pact (a covenant) of commitment (1 Samuel 18:1-3). This was worked out both when Jonathan saved David’s life (1 Samuel 20) and much later when he cared for Jonathan’s crippled son, Mephibosheth, rather than taking revenge on Saul’s descendants (2 Samuel 9). David even refused to raise his hand against King Saul, who had chosen to hate David, sparing Saul’s life when it would have been very easy to choose the way of violence instead (1 Samuel 24).
David was working out God’s call to love his neighbour/his friend as himself (see 1 Samuel 20:17). When David heard of Saul’s and Jonathan’s deaths in battle, it broke his heart (1 Samuel 31).

From David’s life, the following idea picks up this theme of friendship in the face of hatred, focusing on two incidents in particular.

Get Set:

Use the stories as they are retold in The Barnabas Children’s Bible, story 122, 'Jonathan's warning', pages 112 - 113, and story 136, 'David is kind to Jonathan's son', page 124.

Go!

1. How do friends mark their friendship with each other? Is it the exchange of gifts such as rings? The making of promises? Does it involve a special ceremony? Or is it simply the making of friendship bracelets? Talk with your group about what it means to have friends. What makes a best friend and how do friends prove they are friends?
Explain how Jonathan and David became friends, following the killing of giant Goliath. They stayed friends all their life, despite enormous pressures and dangers.
What colour is friendship? You could use this opportunity to make some friendship bands using the colours they have chosen.

I wonder what the sign of God’s friendship towards us is? A rainbow? A cross? The gift of the Holy Spirit?

2. David ends up on the run from King Saul, Jonathan’s father. He relies on Jonathan for insider information about approaching danger (1 Samuel 20) at a cost. Jonathan almost gets himself killed.
Although there was every reason for David to hate the King, when the chance came to kill him, David refused to harm ‘The Lord’s anointed’. There is a drama version of this amusing and important story in the Ideas section of the Barnabas website: Psalms—drama from the Psalms.

3. The depth of the friendship between David and Jonathan is shown particularly in David’s reaction to the death of Saul in battle. It would have been extraordinary at the time to show such upset of the death of an enemy. Such sadness was the mark of being a true friend and an indication that hatred had been turned to love.

Read what Jesus says about what our attitude should be to our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45). Does Jesus really mean this? How is it possible?
Long before Jesus, David shows that it is possible to choose the way of this kind of friendship.

4. In The complete Guide to Godly Play Volume 6, there is an extension lesson on the life of David, exploring the whole story, including his friendship with Jonathan, through some carefully chosen artefacts.
The depth of David and Jonathan’s friendship is proved much later by the way David acted towards Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son (2 Samuel 9). He didn’t have to show such kindness, but he did.
True friends are prepared to go out of their way for each other. What a surprise it must have been to David’s court to see him acting in this way towards Mephibosheth.
What lengths do true friends go to to help each other? Hand out some post-it ‘speech bubbles’ to the group and ask them to fill in the missing word or words in the phrase, ‘Friendship means...’ Compare notes and discuss what they have written.

6. There are some Barnabas creative ideas, linked to David in the following books:
Bible Make and Do Book 1: David’s harp
Bible Make and Do Book 3: David and Goliath—a paperweight

7. In a time of prayer, ask the group to write out the names of all their friends on separate pieces of paper and then arrange these randomly in a circle. Place a candle in the middle. Now ask everyone in the group to choose a name other than the one they have written and call it out, so that all the friends are named before God in a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing.

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